We all have our stories. I find that telling these stories are meant for a reason, they are the power inside of us, the keys of attraction. After someone shares their life experience and their reasons behind their decisions and to see how they have grown.
The following is a story of one of my friends. She posted it and it made me really think, people who grew up in church, but had the soul and spirit of a Pagan, how do they feel? Where are they now?
Here is a short biography about Andrea, her story of being a witch, and following that, the actual story, I will post some thoughts afterwards.
My name is Andrea Whitehead. I was born on 14 February 1989 into a very Christian family. One of my great great grandfathers actually helped establish a well-known church in my town many years ago. I first expressed signs of being a witch when I was a little girl. I loved to draw and my subject matter was ALWAYS women in dresses with every type of hair, eye and skin color. I loved fairies, astronomy, unicorns and mythical things and was very imaginative. In the ninth grade I got very interested in Witchcraft, but I was afraid of it because of my upbringing. I made a conscious decision to continue to follow Christianity. After high school, I attended a private Christian college because I felt myself slipping away from the faith I’d always been comfortable with. Overall, attending such a school had the opposite effect. In the midst of soul searching, I was able to look at things for the first time without a Christian bias. I was led back to Witchcraft by my fascination with the human aura. From there, I found numerous subjects which captured my interest that I’d always been wary of before. (My strong points thus far seem to be sympathy magick, and crystals; I have also been known to have a few psychic experiences and my clairvoyance is opening back up). This ultimately led to me discovering my Magickal Self and awakening to who I am meant to be. I am currently in training to be a Priestess because I have been convinced that I have been called by the Goddess to do so. I know it will take a lot of work because my upbringing has taught me to close off a lot of my awareness and abilities with which we are all born, but if She believes that I have what it takes, that is all I need to keep moving forward. I have much to learn, but I am looking forward to growing as a Witch and experiencing all of the wisdom the Craft has to offer.
“When I was a Christian, I went to church because I needed Spirituality. I needed to feel the loving power of Jesus. I needed to be reminded of Love. I needed comfort. I did NOT go to socialize… that aspect of church always made me uncomfortable. I never liked people coming up to ask me how I am and then only half-listen to my response before wandering off again or giving false interest in what I’m saying. I never liked crowds. You can ask anyone, when I went to church, it was NEVER to socialize. Nothing wrong with that, of course, it just wasn’t my thing. They weren’t really my kind of people anyway… Into sports, gatherings, frisbee, etc. I never liked those things. I wasn’t (and still am not) a social person. I am quiet, shy, and keep to myself around large groups of people.
So now that I am a witch, why would I go to church? I no longer need to Christian Spirituality; I have found one that suits me better. What would be the point in going church? Not only is it boring and repetitive to the point of having my ears bleed but I have come to find that a lot (not all) of the Christian attitude and viewpoint sickens and disgusts me. The great love of Jesus — I can handle that. Preaching against homosexuality, witches, (that would be me, hint hint) and the general mindset behind jokes, thought processes, beliefs, etc –I can’t handle that.
Mom asks me to go with her often. I wish I could say yes. And a lot of times, I think the only thing stopping me is the issues listed above. But no, there’s more than that… If I go to church with my mom JUST TO MAKE HER HAPPY, I’d not only be damaging my morale but I’d be lying to her. You see, the Christian mindset is that if you see someone who is “lost”, you pray for them. You pray for them to “come back to God”. My mom has been praying for me. If I went to church that would make her think my mind is changing… that would make her think her prayers are working. And I am sorry, but any prayer with the intent of changing someone’s soul.. With the intent of changing someone’s beliefs or philosophies is a prayer wasted. I am a GOOD person. I do my best to be kind, empathetic, giving, understanding… WHY would you want to change me? I like who I am. To the trained Christian mind, being a good person isn’t good enough (which is something I also have an issue with). All the good you do means NOTHING if you aren’t a Christian. And I hate that she must think that all the good of who I am just cancels out. I find it so insulting that a Christian may look at someone who is good and still feel the need to pray for them to change.
All my life I have been taught that the idea that there are many paths to God is a LIE. That the ONLY TRUE path to God is through Jesus. This is the most damaging concept to Christianity because it disallows them to let others “live and let live”. (especially if they care about you).There are in fact, many paths to God. I am following one. Christianity is also a valid pathway. I just wish they’d understand that. My choices are my own, my spirit is my own. As soon as someone says “I don’t believe in Hell” or “I don’t believe in Heaven” their mind doesn’t even take time to ponder “Gee, I wonder why this person doesn’t believe in that” or “What if there isn’t a heaven or a hell?” it just automatically overwrites that as a silly statement, a lie to be overlooked. Shouldn’t belief be based on the tough questions instead of what you’re spoon fed?
Mom tries so hard to show me verses in the Bible that shows me where I am “wrong” but what a lot of Christians don’t understand is that I GREW UP HEARING THAT. I KNOW! You can point it out and preach it to me all day and it doesn’t matter because I don’t believe in the validity of most of the bible! I know that you think homosexuality and witchcraft and a bazillion other things are wrong because the bible tells you that. I know that you think I am buddies with the Devil (whether I know it or not because the Devil disguises himself as an Angel of light and is the master deceiver, yadda yadda…) I know ALL of this. So it really does no good. I KNOW what the Bible says. I KNOW what Christianity preaches. I KNOW how you think… And I don’t buy it.
Maybe someday when she accepts the fact that I am a witch, that I am not going to revert back to Christianity… when she accepts who I am and becomes tolerant and stops praying for my soul and worrying about my eternal salvation, I will go back. Just for old time’s sake. Just to show her that stepping inside a church won’t make me sizzle and burn.”
Andrea, you are a strong and very loving person. I find it beautiful that this experience brought you back to what you always felt, the love and power of the God and Goddess. They love you and are always on your side, you never have to fear darkness. The path of a Priestess is not only about abilities or the twisting of energy, but of finding light in every person and finding the God and Goddess in everything. This means to bring forth love and call down the elements to honor and praise the Deities we serve and coexist. Never lose sight of ritual and tradition. Even though abilities are fun and gifts, they are small mechanisms, in a full machine.
Light and love is sent and I will light a candle to send support for your journey.
Love to all.